Lost Admonitions
by yakori
Summary: *chapter added 7* Taichi and Yamato have just began to embrace their lust for each other, until they realize that their views on the relationship differ. Tempers flare, and Yamato is forced to shield himself from shock the only way that he knows how. Yao
1.

Hoorah! This is the first time I've actually submitted a story, so please be gentle... Also my first actual Yaoi fic. I'm warning you little Shounen-ai haters to flee now! This is your last warning, and I'm really not going to bother reading flames... So, mneh! ^_^ ::enjoy::  
  
***   
Yamato Ishida stared out at the star coated sky as he knocked upon a door that had the letters of the name 'Kamiya' clearly marked on it. He could hear the brief tapping of footsteps, until a medium sized brown haired woman came out to greet him.   
  
"Hello Mrs. Kamiya," He began briskly, "I'm here to speak to Tai about the- history test that we have on Friday. I think that he has my notes..."  
  
"Oh, hello Matt." She said, smiling at him, "Yes, Tai's in his room at the moment. I would make the two of you snacks or something like that, but I'm off to the store..."  
  
"I'm sure we'll be just fine on our own." Yamato said, grinning back at her. He made his way into the house and watched out of the corner of his eye as she plucked up her purse, dropped a pair of keys in and stepped out the door.  
  
Without hesitation, he swiftly yet quietly headed towards Taichi's sleeping quarters. His fingers pried the wooden door open and arranged to proceed inside.  
  
The lights had been turned off, and the room had been dully lit by sun that had managed to pass through the window's curtains. Almost the second that he tip-toed inside the room, he felt someone else's hands upon his sides.  
  
"Hey..." Yamato uttered while wrapping his arms around the boy in front of him.  
  
"Hi..." Tai said, pulling his physique closer. "You sure didn't waste anytime getting here..."  
  
Matt smiled mischievously. "Does this bother you??"  
  
"What to you think?" Tai replied in the same tone, then pushed himself closer, causing their lips to collide. He began running his hand through the hair of his friend, until he leaned over and began kissing his neck.   
  
"Not so fast, Tai..." Matt said slowly, shifting his head away from the brunette's awaiting lips.   
  
"Why??" Taichi answered forcefully, running one of his hands down Yamato's shirt and along his back. "We don't have that much time, so we might as well get as much done as we can..."  
  
His blue eyes shifted uncertainly as he said replied, "I guess...but... don't you want to be able to savor it?"   
  
Tai stared at him impatiently. "What's wrong with you??" He said in irritation. "You've never gotten sentimental like this before... If you're not in the mood, I guess we don't have to, but-"  
  
"No... it's not that... Come on then, lets just get it over with..." Yamato replied with an anxious expression, then kissed Tai once again and began peeling off his clothes.  
  
***  
Tai sighed aloud in satisfaction, while letting Yamato's head rest on his shoulder, along with the rest of his body. He rubbed his friend's naked surface tenderly while touching some of the more intimate parts.   
  
"You're getting better at this..." Matt smirked from under the blankets, though his eyes had settled shut. "Do you think Kari heard anything?"  
  
"Nah..." Taichi answered, "I checked with mom; she's sleeping over at Miyako's house to work on a science project."   
  
"Good..." Yamato replied, "I'd hate to imagine what she or T.K. would say if he found out about~" he paused, allowing his cheeks to become tinted red. "You know...'us'..."  
  
"And the best part about this whole thing, is that we can see each other without being afraid of getting hurt." Tai said, stroking Yamato's golden strands gingerly.  
  
"What do you mean?" Matt yawned while running his finger tips along Tai's exposed flesh.  
  
Taichi paused for a moment as if collecting his thoughts, then replied "Well- you know..." He said, sounding a lot younger then he was, "It's not like this really means anything... Just a fling; that's all... We each have our fun, and then go home... Nobody else has to know what happens, right?"   
  
"What the hell are you talking about, Tai?!" Yamato said, pulling his hand away from Taichi's chest and staring at him in disbelief.  
  
Tai drew his hand to his mouth and tried to apologize. "Wait a sec-" he started with an expression of panic, "I didn't mean it like that~! Really, I didn't~! " He swiftly tried to grab the blonde's arm, but missed, as his target pulled away.  
  
Yamato cast a furious glance at him then cried, "Is that all I am to you??? Some goddamned sex object??!"   
  
"No!" Taichi protested, "I didn't~!"  
  
"Don't even bother wasting your breath!" Yamato said, throwing the covers off of his body and onto the floor. He searched through the clothes scattered on the ground until he stumbled across his shirt, pulled it on and then did the same with his uniform pants.   
  
Tai got up and attempted to touch Yamato's skin, but it was abruptly stricken away. "Matt... please, just listen to me, I~!"  
  
"What's the matter, Tai?? Afraid of people finding out that you've been fucking another guy??" The older one said coldly, then stomped away and slammed the bedroom door with all his force.  
  
Taichi sighed, while letting his head drop into his hands. "God, I'm such an idiot..." He tried getting up to go and chase after his partner, but then decided it'd probably be best if he gave Yamato some time to cool down.  
  
***  
"Hey, Miyako, what'll happen if I put this in this??"  
  
*Boom~!*  
  
"Daisuke!" The purple haired girl said, snatching the assorted test tubes away from his face, "I just told you not to touch anything!! Do you have your goggles on too tight, or are you just stupid??"  
  
Davis moaned while wiping the black liquid off of his face, then retorted, "At least I'm not a stuck up, conceited little- "  
  
"Stop it..." Iori groaned, not bothering to look over at the other paif. "Can't you just get along once in a while??"  
  
"Enough you two." T.K. came out of the kitchen holding a plate of cookies and some milk. "It's hard enough to concentrate without the both of you trying to tear each other apar-"  
  
But he wasn't able to finish as Daisuke bounded off the ground and greedily stuffed several cookies into his mouth.   
  
"Hey, save the rest of us some...",Miyako said, trying to pry him off of the tray.   
  
"Yeah, Davish!" Chibimon cried, hopping up and down gleefully, "I want some cookies, too!"  
  
Takeru laughed, while pulling them out of his grasp and laying them out on the table for the others to take. His chuckling was quickly silenced though as soon as he glanced around instantly. "Hey, Miyako?"   
  
"Uh, yeah T.K.?" she replied, trying to seize a biscuit from the plate without getting her hand gnawed off.   
  
"Where's Hikari?" He asked, still looking throughout the room.  
  
Miyako stopped a moment, then replied "Last time I checked, she was on the balcony..."  
  
T.K. smiled in his familiar warm fashion then answered, "Gomen..." Then stepped away from the group, and pulled the screen door open to reveal the brunette who appeared to be lost, staring up at the stars in an distressing manner.  
  
The goggle headed boy lifted his head from the food and stared at the two other digi-destine children. He felt his heart ache as he watched the two converse with each other; with the occasional laugh or giggle.   
  
*Why can't I have that with her, too?*  
  
"Hey Davis, are you alright?"  
  
He turned his head to see Iori and Miyako's faces suspended directly in front of his with worried fronts.   
  
"What?" He asked in brief puzzlement, "Oh, me? Yeah, I'm fine." He put on a fake grin to please them both, then dived for the cookies once again.  
  
"When's Ken getting here??" He asked, wiping the crumbs off of his shirt.  
  
"Anytime now..." Miyako said absently, "He called to say that his train would be a bit late."  
  
"Okay..." Davis replied, "Just wondering." He then tried to wipe all thought from his mind as he plopped down onto the couch.   
  
***  
Takeru walked out to barrier where Kari gazed out at the night sky.  
  
"Kari?" He said, waving his hand in front of her, "Earth to Hikari..."   
  
She blinked a couple times, before glancing up at him. "Oh, hi T.K.!" She said, beaming, "What're you doing out here??"  
  
T.K. surveyed her for a little while, then raised one of his eyebrows. "What's the matter?" he asked sincerely.  
  
"Me?" She said quickly, staring back at the stars. "Nothing's wrong!"   
  
"Look..." Takeru said, investigating her, "I've known you for a long time, Kari... You don't have to lie to me... I'm hear to listen to you."  
  
She gazed up at him with a look of defeat then sighed loudly.   
  
*He knows me too well...*  
  
"I don't know..." She said, playing with her fingers. "It's just that- oh, it's crazy. I've been having dreams about Tai, that's all."  
  
"What kind of dreams??" T.K. asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to her.   
  
Kari appeared squirmish as she replied languidly "It starts out like he's running away from something... though I don't know what...I'm standing on the sidelines, watching him, though I want to go in and help him..."  
  
"Go on??" T.K. urged, laying one of his hands on her shoulder.   
  
"Well..." She said, "He begins to slow down, until finally whatever it is-that- *thing*...It grabs him. He screams, struggling with everything he's got; until everything goes black... I can't see anything for a while, until finally he comes into view. But this time he's crying... I hate it. I hate having to watch him cry."   
  
She pulled her hair back over her ear, then looked down at her feet. "It's really stupid. I don't see why I let it get to me..."  
  
T.K. smiled at her, then said, "That's one of the great things about you, Kari. you're always thinking about everyone else." He paused to help her up, and added, "About the dream...Remember, it was just a nightmare. That doesn't mean that it's going to come true... Try to forget about it, alright?"  
  
"Yeah..." replied Hikari, "I'll try." Her smile glistened, even in the dark, as she said "Thanks for giving me someone to talk to, T.K..."  
  
"No problem!" He laughed, "I know you'd do the same." With that, they both got up, and treaded inside.  
  
***  
  
*I thought he loved me...*  
  
Yamato let his tears flow freely over his face as he ran at top speed through the damp and empty streets. It was too dark for there to be much traffic, but enough that he still had to be careful. His breathing was becoming shallower and constantly interrupted by flushed gasping.   
  
*How could I have been so stupid???*  
  
His eyes began to sting from being repeatedly hit by the raging wind, and being torn away at by the raindrops that tumbled from the sky. Finally, he reached a bridge and stared over the ledge, grieving loudly. The little droplets fell from his eyes and into the awaiting waters below, rippling beneath him.  
  
*He never cared about me... I just imagined it the whole time...*  
  
Images flashed through his mind; the first kiss, the sensation of Tai's hands upon his body, the day that he lost his virginity to the tormenting brunette. Didn't it mean anything to him?  
  
"Taichi Kamiya..." he mumbled bitterly, "His name meant so much to me... I wonder if he could say the same for mine..."   
  
He wiped the piercing tears off of his visage, and tried to regain sense of himself. "I was wasting my time..." he cried softly, "Every moment I ever spent with him... meant nothing..."  
  
*Baka... He didn't care at all... The only thing that he wanted was my damn body...*  
  
Yamato's azure eyes had filled once again with tears, though he tried to force them away abruptly.  
  
*How could I have missed it for so long?? It's been almost two months, and I never even noticed...*  
  
As he looked out at the river below that calmly drifted by, and suddenly the thoughts of remorse began to leave him. Instead, all his pain was channeled into one notion. He wanted to retaliate the only way that he knew how; revenge...  
  
He limped along the dim streets of Odaiba, until suddenly the sound of a train could be heard throughout the air. Having nothing else to lose, Yamato sprinted endlessly, until he reached the mostly deserted subway station, and glanced around at the smoggy environment.   
  
"Yamato?"  
  
He spun around suddenly to see who had spoken his name. To his surprise, he saw the well-known face of Ken Ichijouji; former Digimon Kaizer.   
  
Ken dropped his bags as his navy eyes sparkled alongside his bluish hair. "What are you doing here?" He asked, pulling strands of navy away from his face, "It's terribly late out..." He said politely, "Shouldn't you be at home...?"  
  
"I could ask you the same thing..." Matt replied lifelessly. He was about to turn around and walk away, but his curiosities forbid him. "What are you doing all the way out here in Odaiba??" He asked.  
  
"Miyako-San and the others invited me to stay with them for a while." He replied slowly, picking up his bags again and inspecting the rest of the city.   
  
Yamato nodded in understanding while helping the smaller boy to collect some of his luggage.   
  
"Matt?" Ken asked, still examining the alleys, "Would you happen to know which way it is to her house?? I've only been here a couple of times, and I'm not sure that I remember..."  
  
"Yeah, sure..." Yamato said in a drained tone, "You walk along that route until~"  
  
All of a sudden, his eyes widened from an unexpected idea while he started. "Ken..."  
  
"Yes?" the boy asked, turning in his direction.  
  
"It's a long way to get to the Inoue household, and my place is closer." Yamato continued, "How about you just come over to my house for tonight, and then tomorrow I'll show you how to find your way to Miyako's."  
  
Ken glanced at him, then smiled. "Alright..." He said, "I guess I'll let you lead the way..."  
  
"It'll be easier..." Matt said, taking bags, then whispered, "For me..." He then grabbed the rest of the stuff, and they began the long walk back to the Ishida residence.   
  
***  
  
And that's the first chapter. I hope that you liked it... I'll try coming out with the next one soon...   
~Remember, sparky! Reviews are like presents! Nice to give away, but even better to receive!~ 


	2. Lost Admonitions

A quick chapter addition... This one's really really short... O_o I was going to make it longer, but I really didn't know what to put. I know how it'll end, but I just didn't know what to cram in. So, I left it. +_+  
  
***  
"So..." Matt said, slowing down his pace so that he'd be at the same rate as his companion being dragged down by luggage. "How are things in Tamachi?"  
  
"Fine." Ken answered, sounding unintentionally blunt. "Dad got a new job somewhere, but I'm not sure of the location."  
  
Matt stared up at space blankly, obviously trying to think of something else to say; though nothing appropriate was coming to mind. The only ideas he had sounded either stupid or pointless.  
  
The two were quiet for a while, looking timidly at the lights and buildings nearby, until finally Ken turned and opened his mouth again.  
  
"You don't live with Takeru, do you?"   
  
Yamato was momentarily stunned by the question, but recovered himself and replied dully "Nah... our parents got divorced when we were small."   
  
"Oh..." Ken said with a look of surprise that was quickly transformed to guilt. "I'm sorry..."  
  
"Why?" The other replied, "There's nothing for you to be sorry about... It's not like it was your fault or anything like that."  
  
Ken gaped at his fingers tediously. "I suppose...", he said slowly. "But it's always been customary for me to say that... Out of respect."  
  
"Yeah, well..." Matt said dully, "Don't worry about it... Everyone I've ever told that to has given me the whole 'oh, I'm so sorry...' bit, even when I know that they're not." Then he added, "Not like I'm trying to accuse you of anything..."  
  
When Ken didn't answer, Yamato continued. "I don't care much anymore. Mom and dad made a bigger effort to keep T.K. and I together after seeing that it was having a negative effect on both of us."  
  
Upon seeing Ken's expression he added, "It doesn't hurt to talk about now. The scars have almost healed." Then his lips curved into a smile; which beamed even through the dusky night air.   
  
Ken grinned back, feeling more comfortable then he had before with the older boy. He had never really gotten the chance to get to know Yamato, therefore making it difficult to find discussion topics.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted when he was asked, "What about you? I'm sure someone mentioned to me that you had a brother...it could have been Izzy or Tai..." Yamato abruptly caught himself and winced instantly after the name had been mentioned but tried to propel it from his mind. It was Tai's fault that he was strolling the night away in the middle of Japan...   
  
He noticed Ken still hadn't answered and glanced down.   
  
To Yamato's surprise, Ken's eyes appeared to be glazed over while the rest of his body refused to move from it's spot. His fingers trembled a bit, up to the point when Matt nudged his shoulder and said "Ken? You alright?"  
  
"What?-" Ken blinked hastily. "Oh-yeah… I'm sorry about that." He then answered quickly, "Yes, I had a brother..."  
  
"Had?" Matt said, investigating Ken with searching eyes. "What do you mean?"  
  
Ken paused again, but this time not for as long. "He's gone now... A couple years ago, there was a car accident. He died the second the vehicle hit. His body was shattered."  
  
"Oh...", Yamato replied slowly; wishing that he hadn't asked. "I'm sorry..."  
  
Ken rotated in his direction, then said with a meek smirk, "See? I told you. It's automatic..."  
  
"What??" Matt asked in confusion. "I don't-"  
  
"You apologized." Ken interrupted, "You had absolutely nothing to do with Osamu's death, and yet you express regret."  
  
Yamato stared at Ken in bewilderment, until he smiled too. "You're right." He hesitated again and said "But what you had to go through was a lot worse...You *lost* your brother; I was just on an absence from mine."   
  
"Well..." Ken began, "I've heard that divorces are pretty hard to get through too."  
  
*He can say that again...*  
  
"At least I had T.K. to confide in if I was feeling upset or down... You-"  
  
"Yeah, but I didn't have to worry about my parents..." the other shot back. "At least I had them to depend on when the ordeal happened."  
  
"Ken...", Matt said idly, "I-"  
  
"Look..." Ken said with his eyes closing momentarily, "Sure, it can be painful... It was a lot more complicated before, but we're living with it. My family- we're coping. We were all devestated, but now things are different. Pretty soon, thinking about him won't be so tough. Now lets stop arguing over whose life was filled with more agony, and hurry up so we can get to your place."  
  
Yamato gaped for a moment, but stopped himself, and shut his mouth after thinking better of it.   
  
*For a kid that was once trying to destroy a whole other world and everything in it- he sure knows that he's talking about.*  
  
***  
Miyako yawned loudly, then pulled herself off of the floral colored couch. "It's late... Daisuke, Iori, Takeru... You should probably be home soon, or else your parents are going to get worried..."  
  
The others nodded in agreement and began collecting their things.  
  
"What about Kari?" T.K. asked while lugging his crowded backpack onto his shoulder.  
  
Miyako opened her mouth to respond, but Hikari replied for herself. "I'm sleeping over tonight so that we can work on our project for a bit, and then we'll meet you later tomorrow."  
  
Iori shoved Upamon into his bag then nodded his head. "Alright, that sounds like a plan." Once they had grabbed all their possessions, the three boys walked over to the door to say their goodbyes.   
  
"See you two tomorrow!" Takeru called cheerfully while waving energetically at the girls.   
  
Davis stared hard out at the sky and pondered aloud, "I wonder why Ken never showed up...It's not like him..."   
  
"Maybe he just got his schedule screwed up," Miyako replied, shrugging. "I'm sure he's fine..." She added gently, after eyeing the goggle boy.  
  
"Yeah..." Daisuke said in a hollow voice, though he didn't sound too convinced. He smiled reluctantly, waved, then turned around and strolled out into the open night.  
  
***  
'Hello, you've reached the Ishida residence. We can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a short message after the beep, we'll get back to you as soon as possible.'  
  
Tai twirled the phone cord impatiently over his fingers as he tried thinking of something to leave.   
  
*What to say, what to say... If I mention anything about tonight and his dad hears, I'm going to be in more shit then I'm already in...*  
  
'Beep!'  
  
"Uh- hi Matt, this is Tai... I just wanted to apologize about what I said early tonight... I didn't mean it- I was just- it was on the spur of the moment!"  
  
He smacked his forehead in frustration, realizing that he was trying to argue with an answering machine.  
  
"Look, I didn't mean to hurt you like that... I wasn't thinking. I know you're still upset at me, but if you get this *please* call me back, we need to talk."  
  
He pushed the hang up button uncomfortably and squirmed while putting the phone back on the receiver.   
  
*I'm sure he's going to be able forgive me after getting a message like -that-...* Taichi thought sarcastically and slumped back down onto the couch.  
  
"I'm a bigger idiot then I thought..." he muttered while rubbing his temples and looking out the window.  
  
"Yamato..." he whispered hoarsely, "Please come back to me..."   
  
***  
  
That was too short..._* But! I've already started the next chapter, so it should be up soon!  
Remember Sparky!  
~Reviews are like presents. Nice to give away, but even better to receive!~  



	3. Lost Admonitions

Whew! Another chapter added! (hoorah!) I had alot of fun writing this... Yes, t'is dreary and sad, but hey! Works for me! ^_~  
  
***  
  
"And this-" Yamato said, releasing the bags from his hands and letting them thud onto the carpet, "-Is my humble abode."   
  
"Nice." Replied Ken sarcastically while yanking a dirty shirt off of the floor and letting it dangle from his finger. He had completely forgotten about trying to stay quite and polite, as his shyness had promptly faded away after he had spent an hour or so with the older boy. It seemed that they related in more ways then one, and he was fascinated to meet someone who had experienced pain just as he had.  
  
"Oh, shut up..." Matt snapped, snatching the garment from his reach and hurling it to the other side of the room. "Dad and I aren't around much, so we don't have many opportunities to clean..."   
  
Ken laughed, then began to grin. The smile was rudely interrupted by a yawn, as he squinted his eyes shut and stretched. "It's late..." he started, "And we should probably get some shut eye..." He began trying to unravel a massive sleeping bag from his suitcase with a lot of difficulty.  
  
"Wait a sec!" Matt exclaimed in an unexpectedly high tone. The blue haired boy looked at him bewilderment while accidentally showing his surprise. "I meant..." Matt said in a calmer voice, "We *could* stay up a little longer... I heard there's a good movie playing on channel 6, we could watch that for a bit, then go and turn in."  
  
There was a slight pause before Ken shrugged. "Why not?" he answered, "I'll be able to survive a little longer..." He picked a couple sloppy articles of clothing off of the couch, then sank down into the cushioning. He closed his eyes in relaxation, while waiting for Yamato, who was preparing popcorn.   
  
  
***  
  
+1:00+  
  
Davis glanced at the automatic clock and moaned loudly while tossing and turning in his bed.   
  
*Why can't I just fall asleep???*  
  
He tossed off his covers, then walked over to his window and tried opening the shutters.   
  
*It's too humid in here...*   
  
Unfortunately, even after trying to hoist the glass out of the way, the window refused to budge. "Come on..." He urged silently, "Just open already!!!" It groaned under his weight, but still wouldn't move from its position.   
  
"Damn thing...." He cursed, letting his hands drop to his side in exhaustion while trotting back to his bed. Instead of getting in, he sat on the colored ledge and stared at the rest of his room.   
  
His mind had been veering and twisting in thought, though nothing that passed through actually made any sense to him. It was obvious that he was still thinking- no, 'worrying'... about Ken... but he didn't know why.  
  
*I'm sure he's fine... I mean, after all, he's a big boy... He can take care of himself...*  
  
Hastily, he closed his eyes as his head settle onto his crossed arms.   
  
*Why am I even bothering to stress myself over this!?!* He thought furiously, trying to wipe it from his mind. His attempt didn't work though, as his deliberations were still floating back to him. He sighed harshly then climbed back under the blankets and tried with all his might to evaporate into a dream.  
  
***  
  
The entire room was, except for the flashing television screen that had both Yamato and Ken's eyes glued to the screen. Both had made them selves comfortable on the couch, and felt their energy slowly draining away as the minutes ticked on through the night.   
  
Ken's eyes drooped shut while he began losing consciousness and allowed his body to lean onto the blonde's.   
  
Yamato's blue eyes peered down and stared at the boy next to him. He looked so fragile and delicate, making the world seem at peace, dispite the massacres and problems that were happening at that very instant.   
  
Without being able to stop himself, Matt closed his eyes and leaned over to let his lips connect with the other's forehead.   
  
"What-what are you doing?!?"  
  
Yamato looked down in stupefaction at his friend, who was blaring back up at him. He tried to rip himself away, then stumbled backwards and somersaulted off the sofa.   
  
*Talk about awkward moments...*  
  
He faced at Ken, who wore an expression that looked as if he was about to get up and run, not bothering to bring his stuff.   
  
"I was just-uh--..."   
  
Thousands of excuses whizzed through his brain, but none seemed moderately believable.   
  
"I-"   
  
He stopped, and glanced at the floor, recognizing that he had been caught.   
  
"Did you just kiss me??!!" Ken exclaimed deliriously, waving his arms in the air like a madman.   
  
"I--..." Yamato paused, still trying to figure out a way that he could justify his actions.   
  
"Why?!?" Ken asked again with his voice in more of a whisper.  
  
Matt stared around edgily, his face becoming more and more flushed. "I was just--... You were sitting there-and you looked really-- I don't know!!!" He exclaimed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I just-"  
  
Ken wore a blank mien. "I don't really understand..." He muttered, "But-if you didn't mean to-I guess we could just forget it happened, alright??"  
  
He smiled in confusion and Yamato tried to do the same while experiencing a sick feeling in his stomach. A bustling, sort of like the bubbles of a pot of water.   
  
With that the two went back to giving their full attention to the television screen, though they weren't really paying attention to what the actors were saying. Both were rigid and stiff as they tried letting their minds be abducted by the film.   
  
As Ken finally began to absorb into the movie, he wasn't able to contain the urge to look over, making sure Yamato was still in his spot. Of course, he was, though it was impossible to concentrait on anything else but his paranoia.  
  
Matt immediately noticed, causing him to scold himself close-lipped fashion.  
  
*Great. Now I've gotten him skittish. With my luck, he'll say that he has to go to the bathroom, and try to make a run for it.*  
  
He sighed aloud; unconsciously sure that Ken had seen. He turned around to face the other, and saw Ken's large cerulean eyes staring back at his. Not being able to disobey the urge, he closed his eyes again and bent over, pressing his lips up against Ken's.  
  
*Why am I doing this?? I'm kissing a 'guy'...*  
  
The younger of the two felt a strange sensation pass over him as he let his hand be held by Yamato's. Ironically, he was offered the chance to kiss back, and it was one he chose to take. He pushed himself up closer, then let his mouth thrust up against  
the other boy's neck.  
  
*And yet--it just feels-- right...*   
  
(OOC: yes, Ken. You're kissing Yamato Ishida. Why *WOULDN'T* it feel right? Iz kink-ay! O_o)  
  
Matt paused briefly while granting Ken the opportunity to caress him, then began breathing harder; began running his hands through his partner's blue hair and lunging onto him.  
  
From previous experience from another digidestined, Yamato let his tongue roam to Ken's earlobe while beginning to unbuckle his pants. Ken closed his eyes while Matt then ran his fingers around his naval, and tore off his own trousers.  
  
"I'm- going to protect you..." Matt said breathlessly, while rapidly trying to remove his shirt.  
  
Ken brushed his hair out of his face as he replied in the same panting, "I-I love...you..."   
  
His remark was answered only be the gasping of the words, "I-love you, too..."  
  
Once the both of them had been stripped down to nothing, they stood in front of the chair with their bodies held close together while kissing extravagantly and touching the bare skin heatedly.   
  
"Don't ever leave-me..." Ken pleaded through breaths, "I-hate being alone..."  
  
"I won't..." Yamato replied, grabbing his arm and pulling him frantically to the bedroom. "I'll-always-love you..."  
  
The two dove under the covers while proceeding to more intimate relations.  
  
+++*And yet--it just feels-- right...*+++  
  
***  
  
Hours later, Ken was resting peacefully next to Yamato, snuggled up like a puppy would do to show affection. His whole figure was now worn out as he slept calmly, once again giving the blonde a sense of content with the world. He smiled in satisfaction then began to lugging the blankets nearer until he realized something.  
  
*This is the first time I've --*   
  
He paused for a second in horror...  
  
*-Ever done somebody other then Tai...*  
  
And just then- a tide of emotions came rushing back to him, flooding his brain with countless memories. Even if Tai didn't have the capability to love him, he knew that Taichi Kamiya would always hold his heart in the palm of is hand, able to crush it at any given instant.   
  
*Tai--... I only did this to get back at 'Tai'...*  
  
He had wanted Tai to hurt like he did- feel the same heart-ache that he had...But that had only been out of desperation... Now he knew that this whole night had been a mistake... From the time that he left his lover's apartment to the very second that he was there, holding the fragile torso next to him.  
  
Feeling deranged with regret, he slipped out of the bunk and pulled on a tank top and some shorts, then dragged his feet along until he reached the bathroom. He helped the door to open, then hauled himself in and stared at the cracked window before him. He recalled smashing it a year before, angry because of another one of Tai's idiotic ideas. His fist had bled for about a month before finally deciding to heal.   
  
It was surprising now, as the only thing he could think about was wanting to be back in the arms of the wild brunette. His tanned hands running over his cheeks-what did it matter if he didn't care!?  
  
*Why couldn't I just have left my mouth shut?? I could have pretended that he loved me...Anything!*  
  
His hand shot to his face as he wiped away a stream of crystal that had began to run down. More ideas of panic crossed through him and played out like a grotesque nightmare.  
  
*What's Tai going to say when he finds out?!* he thought in alarm, *He's going to kill me!! Hell, he's going to tear me limb from limb!!!*   
  
His stomach had begun to feel as if it had been populated by thousands of raging butterflies, but now he knew it was more then that as he dropped to his knees and began to vomit into the toilet. He felt himself still sobbing quietly as he tried to pull the hair out of his face and throw up the contents of his stomach.   
  
*I'm a goddamned slut...* he cried to himself, while wiping the stomach acid away from his mouth. He felt-dirty...   
  
*I used then fucked a kid, just so that I would be able to have revenge on someone...I used him!!*  
  
It was so wrong... so horribly wrong... And yet - it was too late - he couldn't take it back now...   
  
"Yamato?"  
  
This was the second time that night where he turned around to see the young boy watching him.   
  
"Are you alright?" He asked, coming over wearing nothing but an abnormally large t-shirt and resting his arm on his friend's back. He noted the different colored liquid in the bathroom fixture then raised his palm to Matt's forehead and remarked quietly, "Oh... you're sick..."  
  
Yamato opened his mouth to reply, but was disconnected.   
  
"Here- I'll go get you a cup from the kitchen and you can have something to help with your fever. Then if you go back to bed and sleep for a while, you'll probably be as good as new in no ti-"  
  
"Stop it..." Matt said, struggling to get up, "I'm just- fine..." His eyes were all red and stung as if they were being ground away by sand paper.   
  
Ken was a little taken aback by the reaction, but a warm grin spread onto his face. "No, you're not..." He said softly while his finger brushed Yamato's smooth skin. "You were crying..." He stopped a moment and gazed at the mourning eyes. "-Why??"  
  
"I wasn't crying-" Yamato lied briskly, "I was just-"   
  
Ken waited anxiously for a reply, though he couldn't understand why he wasn't getting one.   
  
"I have to go..." The blonde retorted, trying to rise to his feet again then trudging past the younger boy.   
  
Ken followed him desperately, trying to make some sense out of his behavior, though it was impossible.   
  
"Here..." Matt said while scribbling on a piece of paper her tore off the fridge, "This is the address to Miyako's house. There are directions on how to get there." He then shoved it into Ken's hands while grabbing a coat and starting to trudge out the door.  
  
"What???" Ken asked in surprise and holding the numbers up, "You want me to leave??? Right now??"  
  
"No, not right now..." Yamato replied hastily, "But you can in the morning..."  
  
"But-" Ken started as the other prepared to slam the door, "I thought you said-that you'd show me how to get there..."  
  
Matt tried to smile weakly, but was unable from the downpour that had previously crushed his spirit. "I-I can't..." He stuttered. Tears had decided to show themselves again as he barely mouthed the words, "What can I say?...I- lied..."  
  
Not giving Ken a chance to answer, he sprinted out down the hall, forgetting to close the door behind him. His vision had become blurred from the droplets that were flying into his face, but he brushed them away rashly.  
  
"YAMA-TO~~!!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING~~~???!!"  
  
"Gomen, Ken..." he whispered, "I can't say... You'd care enough to try and follow..."  
  
Then he flew down the stairs and crashed the front door open, running out into the cold and rainy world that instantly began to soak through his coat. His feet pounded against the cement until finally his lungs felt as if they would burst if he were forced to run another block, and collapsed under a tree, burying his face into his hands and crying loudly for the rest of the city to hear.   
  
Meanwhile, someone else wept silently, watching as the one whom had said they loved him tried to escape from him, just as his brother, and everyone else had.  
  
"You said that you loved me..."  
  
***  
  
And there you have it, chapter 3!! As my friend was ranting, "NOTHING HAPPENED IN CHAPTER 2!!!" so yes, I made something happen in chapter 3. Thanks alot to my amigos who took the time to come and read it! Expect more soon...  
  
Remember kiddies!  
~Reviews are like presents! Nice to give away, but even better to receive! Please review!~   



	4. Lost Admonitions

For some reason this chapter seems a little short...Not really sure why... Probably just my imagination. Anyhow, go on an enjoy the angsty fic! Miam.  
*Taichi…*  
  
*Wake up…*  
  
"Stop it…", he moaned, trying to demolish the noise by covering his head with a pillow. "I don't want to get up yet…"  
  
"Come on, Tai…" His mother's voice rung clearly in his ears as she yanked the covers off of him. His body instantly cringed, curling up tighter and snapped his eyes shut in irritation. "I made you breakfast…" she urged, resting her arm next to him.  
  
"No thanks…" he replied with an exhausted yawn, "I'm not hungry at the moment…"  
Mrs. Kamiya stared at him in disbelief. In all her years, she had never seen her son 'not hungry at the moment'. "Are you alright??" she asked gradually, "Maybe you're-"  
  
"No…" he interrupted directly, "I'm fine. Just tired. I couldn't sleep."  
She looked him over then asked in a concerned tone, "Is something bothering you?? Your eyes look a little red… Are they sore??"  
  
"Yes…" He said absent-mindedly. "I mean- no! I- mom…please, just let me sleep for a little longer…"  
  
She sighed loudly then eyed him a little longer before announcing, "Well, it's going to get cold soon, so don't stay too long. You don't want it to get soggy, do you??"  
  
He didn't bother to reply, instead threw the covers on again and twisted around till he was comfortable. His mother guessed there was nothing else left for her to say, and left with her hands on her hips.  
  
Once sensing that she had left, he permitted himself to look around a bit at the blinding light that shone in the open windows. Noting that the coast was clear, he threw off the bed spread once again then opened his bedroom door and peered around. The only other person in the house was loomed over a frying pan, cooking something that smelt like eggs. (OOC: *waits for 'certain people' to crack up* They know who they are.)  
  
He slunk by carefully then slipped into the bathroom, making sure that the door was locked after him. As soon as he was inside, he hurried over to the sink and let the tap water run into the basin for a couple minutes. He let it trickle over his hands for a while before beginning to splash it onto his face repeatedly.   
  
*Why didn't I rinse after?? Its no wonder she noticed something was wrong…What is this- the millionth mistake I've made in 24 hours?!*  
  
After wiping away the tear-stains that had embedded themselves on his cheeks, he twisted the knob and unplugged the sink then opened the door and marched into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey, Mom…" He announced with fake cheer, "I'm ready for breakfast now…"  
  
***  
  
"Ouch!… Fucking door…"   
  
Yamato trudged into his apartment, bitter and upset. His eyes were sore from mourning while the rest of his body was stiff from sitting in the rain for so long in nothing but a thin black jacket.   
  
Upon glancing around, he knew instantly that Ken had already left. The place looked emptier then before as the suitcases and other luggage had been taken away. He searched around for some sort of note, but there was none that he could see. The sole light was a tiny red one, flashing in a continuous rhythm.  
  
The answering machine.  
  
He treaded over until he reaching the small device and pressed the button with his saturated index finger.  
  
"Hey, Matt, this is Lance calling, just wanted to confirm that you're going to be there for tomorrow's practice… You've missed two already and we're falling behind… Call me back!"  
  
Not really feeling that now was a good time to call, he got up and started pouring himself some cold coffee from the pot that his father had prepared while listening to the other voice mails.  
  
"M. Ishida, this is Clint calling from CTB, there's been a mishap with the towers, we're trying to fix them at the moment… But the scheduling might be a little off. Sorry to have to bother you."   
  
Matt stifled a bit of a laugh as he pictured his dad frantically hurrying through the station trying to get things back on track. Being head of a TV station had it's ups and downs, but the downs had definitely taken their tolls on him. Between his job and smoking, the two made him edgy and constantly worried about keeping things working. Stressful, yes, but if he liked it, who was his son to go and tell him to loosen up?  
  
"Uh- hi Matt, this is Tai..."  
  
Instantly, his head shot up, spilling coffee all over the table and soaking the papers that were already resting on it. He frantically tried to clean it up with a nearby towel, glancing up at the machine and waiting for more of the message.  
  
  
"I just wanted to apologize about what I said early tonight... I didn't mean it- I was just- it was on the spur of the moment!"  
  
He sighed loudly, wiping his eyes again.   
  
*Go figure. Tai goes and makes a mistake, then tries blaming it on something else…*  
  
He felt himself becoming agitated once again, distraught from the events that had passed earlier that night. Trying to remember everything that had happened was difficult, as it all seemed like a blurred picture in his mind. To his surprise though, the machine kept going, though this time the voice came out in a different tone.  
  
"Look, I didn't mean to hurt you like that... I wasn't thinking. I know you're still upset at me, but if you get this *please* call me back, we need to talk."  
  
Yamato felt the knot in his stomach tighten from guilt while he paused from mopping up the mess on the counter.   
  
*How could I have done anything so stupid??? Why couldn't I have taken at least one minute to think of the consequences??*  
  
His eyes were flying out of focus from the tears of ire that had begun to spill onto his face. It had been less then 12 hours, and he had managed to destroy the only relationship that had meant so much to him.  
  
*I don't have to- tell him, do I?? Maybe- if he didn't know…"  
  
But he cleared the thought from his mind as quickly as it had arrived. No, he had screwed up, and it was his responsibility to fix it. Even if that meant having to admit what he had done. He squirmed from the thought of the reaction, but at this point, he really didn't have any choices left…  
  
He flung his cup at the wall and watched on in stupefaction as it cracked into millions of pieces while the remaining coffee drenched the wool carpet. Breathing was getting harder now; it was a struggle to do from all gasping and crying he'd done. Not bothering to pick up the shards, he grabbed his coat again and headed out the apartment door for the second time that day.  
  
***  
  
'Dear Kari,  
  
I don't really know how to say this, seeing as I don't think there's an obvious or easy way. I'm sure you've known for a while, but you've never really chosen to react… I've liked you for a while now, Kari, but I haven't been able to come right out and say it. Sure, I've hinted, but that's about it. So here I am, now, telling you that I really do care about you.   
  
I don't know how you're going to respond, or if you're going to answer this at all, but I just needed to let you know. Maybe if you got the chance to know me better, you'd feel differently then you do now. All I'm asking for is a chance.  
  
Daisuke'  
  
The goggle boy treaded languidly to school, kicking the tiny stones in front of him as he went along. He gripped the side of his backpack with one hand and a small pink envelope in the other.   
  
*Should I give it to her?? I know she already likes T.K… but-I have to try, don't I? I can't just cower once I see that there's someone else who finds her pretty… I mean, who doesn't? She's so sweet and considerate- it's impossible to deny it anymore…*   
  
"Davis??"  
  
His head turned upwards as he faced the direction that he had heard his name.   
  
"Yeah?" He asked before seeing whom it was. He didn't trust his vision after he saw it though. "Ken??"  
  
The boy in front of him was none other then the blue haired boy genius though he didn't look as presentable as he usually did. His clothes appeared to be damp from water and his eyes were almost a shade of crimson being rubbed. His tresses were frizzed and matted along with his bags that all looked in about as bad shape as he did.  
  
"Hello, Davis…" Ken said in a stunned voice. "H-how're you?"  
  
"I'm alright…" Daisuke answered curtly, "But what about you?? I hate to say it, but you look awful…"  
  
"I'm-" Ken stopped as if saying the words was taking an enormous amount of effort. "I-'m…I'm…"  
  
Suddenly he stopped, fell to the ground and dropped the bags behind him. His skin was wet from the weeds that had accumulated water from the night before. He looked as if he were shaking though Davis couldn't understand why.   
  
"Ken??" He asked, lifting his hands and jarring him profusely, "Ken, get up! What's the matter??"   
  
But Ken couldn't answer, nor did he want to at the moment. He tried to sob, but all his tears had been cried out hours before. "I'm sorry…" He wept softly, "I'm just-"  
  
"Don't worry about it…" Davis replied bluntly, "But what's the matter?? You look like you've been beaten or-"  
  
He couldn't finish, as Ken raised his hand as I signal to stop. "I don't want to talk about it right now…" he said in a raspy voice, "I just can't…"  
  
"Oh…" Daisuke said, not trying to pry, "Alright…" Upon seeing Ken's condition, he realized that he was going to have to give him some place to rehabilitate for a while… He couldn't continue on the streets of Odaiba like this… "Come on, Ken…" He said shortly, "Let's get you somewhere to rest… You can come over to my place…"  
  
"No…" Ken replied, "That's okay… I'll be fi-"  
  
"I insist." Davis interrupted at once, while picking up some of Ken's bags and beginning to walk in the other direction.  
  
Ken looked hesitant but took the time to stare at Daisuke's beaming smile, and had nothing to do but agree. Still quivering as he got away from the dewy grass, he couldn't help but be thankful that someone had come to his assistance. "But- don't you have school today??" He asked suddenly. He would have raised an eyebrow, but now he was just too tired.  
  
"What?" Daisuke asked, spiraling around again. "Oh…" He paused for a second then replied, "Nope! Not until the afternoon!" He knew the lie was unbelievable, but he nor Ken cared, for they knew the older one was in need, and the younger one was only too pleased to help.  
  
Ken didn't comprehend why, but the efforts were appreciated all the same.  
  
***  
  
See? Short. According to me, anyway. And yes, the egg thing *will* make sense to certain people. ::nods head::  
*points* That's right. I'm talking to you. *coff* Anywho! I must be off to go and-- sleep. -__-;;   
And what fic would be complete without my closing line?  
Remember kiddies!  
~Reviews are like presents! Nice to give away, but even better to receive!!~ 


	5. Lost Admonitions

Another chapter! Hoorah! Now you can get off my back- *coff* JenandCourtenayandJaqueline-*coff* This one has 'colorful language'... so a warning to you now...miam.  
  
***  
  
Sun washed over the blonde's hair as he pounded anxiously at the door in front of him. His clenched fists hit once, twice, again and again, but despite his frustration, no one answered.  
  
*Goddamned it!! Why the hell won't they open their fucking door?!?*  
  
At last, he heard the sound of someone shuffling towards the exit and then the opening swung open. Mrs. Kamiya stood in front of him with an expression that showed only irritation- though she still tried to put on a pleasant smile as she said, "Hello, Matt, how are you this morning?" She had been stuck with the task of trying to balance a heap of dirty dishes with one hand as well as keeping the door open though she was starting to fail. There was a loud crash as the dishes spilled onto the ground, so Yamato leaned over to help her pick some of the cracked glass, though not being careful enough to avoid the shape edges.  
  
"Oh dear, are you alright? You're fingers bleeding-"  
  
"Don't worry~!" He cried while shoving his hands into his pockets and trying to avoid interrogations. "I'm sure it'll heal in no time. Um- is Tai here?"  
  
"Tai?" She repeated as if trying to figure out why he'd be so eager to visit her son that early in the morning. "Yeah- I think he's in his room…He hasn't come out since breakfast."  
  
"Thank you~!" He replied with a quick bow then dashed into the household at breaking speed.   
  
He skidded on the wooden floor and almost missed the door to the brunette's room completely. Taking the time to try and get over the large pit that had initialed itself in his stomach, he took a deep breath and let his knuckles knock gently on the door.   
  
The first sight he saw when the entrance flew open was a tanned skin boy who looked more like he was 6 instead of 16, as his eyes seemed as if they had been dyed crimson. He appeared to have been kicked or beaten. The twist in Yamato's stomach grew.  
  
"Mom- I already-"   
  
Taichi stopped the second that he noticed who it was who had knocked on his door. The look on his face changed from displeasure to the exact opposite.   
  
"Matt!!" He said in a strained whisper while grabbing the dark jacket and pulling the other into his room.  
  
Yamato stared around at the room and saw that the lights were gone- just as before, while they blinds had been closed. Feeling his panic rise, he struggled to break the hold that Tai had on his arm but it was no good. Tai was an athlete- he wasn't. "Stop it, Tai…" He said, trying to pry the fingers off of him. "I can't- not right now…"  
  
"Calm down. I'm not trying to make any moves." Taichi responded bluntly and thoroughly straightforward; though he released Matt from his grasp. "I just want to talk. No; actually, I *need* to talk."  
  
The only reason Yamato had come over was to tell his friend what had happened so that he could get it off his chest. He wouldn't care if Tai didn't talk to him for a while- he had expected that. He didn't care if Tai never wanted to talk to him again. Well- actually, he'd *care*, but he'd understand why he had taken the actions. He had done one of the worst things he could've done to their relationship, and he knew it. Tai deserved better then him.  
  
So, why the hell did he have to make it so difficult?! Matt didn't want to talk- he wanted to get the heartache over with. He wanted to be done with the guilt that had been harassing his mind non-stop ever since that night before.   
  
"Tai…" He started, "I-"  
  
"Shh…" Tai interrupted, lifting his index finger to his mouth. "Just listen."  
  
Matt sighed in discomfort then looked up at the ceiling nervously. "Alright…" he said quietly.  
  
  
  
"I didn't know how to say this before…" Tai started slowly, collecting Yamato's shaking hands in his own. "But ever since yesterday, I've been thinking about it- so now I've got some idea…  
  
"Ever since I met you- I always knew that I was closer to you than the other kids. I don't know why- I just did. Sure, we fought a hell of a lot, but we still- connected, you know?"  
  
Matt's whole body was still quivering. "Yeah." He replied with his eyes glued to the floor. "I know." The lump grew some more.  
  
"When we actually started-" He paused a second then said, "-You know... getting together… I didn't know why I was doing it. It's not like I had ever liked guys before or anything like that. Hell, for the longest time- I thought I almost had a thing for Sora. But with you- it was…" His voice was suddenly placid. "…different…"  
  
*Stop it…* Yamato begged silently, *Please, just stop it….*  
  
"Look- what I said before- I just said it because I was confused. I didn't understand how I actually felt about you. The truth is- I hate being away from you- or knowing that you're angry with me. I thought I had lost you- I really did. But now that you're here, I just have to tell you that I *do* cherish your company. I want to be able to take care of you, Yamato. I-"  
  
"Stop it, Tai…", Matt said finally, causing Taichi to take a step back, "Just- don't say anything else…"  
  
But the brunette ignored the warning then blurted, "Yamato… I *love* you."  
  
His face shone with such anticipation that the blonde could almost feel his heart shatter from inside of him. Why did he have to love him now!? Why couldn't have just told him this before!? Then none of it would have happened…  
  
"Stop it!!" Matt cried out again, jerking his hands away and hiding them behind his back. "You don't even know what you're saying!" For some reason he felt himself still shivering out of control.  
  
Though he was slightly shaken from the curt words that spouted from Yamato's mouth, Tai wasn't prepared to give up that easily.  
  
"No… you see, that's just it-" he answered as if he had a great secret he was trying to explain to his friend, that nobody else knew, "I actually *do* know what I'm saying! Everything I said- it's true!" His mouth was left in a large grin as he waited eagerly for a response. Confident expectations had claimed him while his mind was put into a state of pure ecstasy.   
  
Yamato said nothing. He couldn't. It was impossible for him to put into words what he was feeling- for fear of injuring the other.   
  
"Well-??" Tai asked, seeing that the reaction wasn't quite as he had hoped it would have been. He had foreseen at least an 'I love you' back, or something of that sort, but so far things were looking desolate.  
  
*Maybe I said it too soon… He wasn't ready… Or maybe he just doesn't want to commit to *me*… I mean after all… I've been such a fucking idiot lately…*  
  
"What's the matter?" He inquired in a bare whisper, "Did I-"  
  
"No…" Matt interrupted, "It was nothing that you did. I'm just-"  
  
"Just *what*?" Tai asked quickly. "Something's bothering you… Why don't you just tell me-"  
  
Yamato stopped talking and began to play with his fingers. "It's not that I don't want to tell you…It's just- I don't think I can… at least not now-"  
  
"Why not?" Tai demanded, though still in a good-natured tone. The blonde began answer but he stopped him by saying, "Come on, Matt, it can't be that bad- can it?"  
  
*Depends if you thinking fucking somebody behind your back qualifies as 'bad'.*  
  
There was still no reply from either of them, so Taichi added, "Please?"  
  
"Al-alright…" Matt answered while biting his lip.  
  
  
*…He has the right to know…*  
  
"Last night." He started while running his fingers through his hair, "-After I left… I was walking…"  
  
"Yeah?" Tai said, moving closer, but not in an aggressive fashion. He meant to give Yamato some sort of assertion. "Go on…"  
  
"I went near the river for a while- stumbling around, feeling lost. Nothing seemed familiar to me; just blurred. After staying out for at least an hour- I soon found myself at the train station. To my surprise, Ken was there. He wanted directions to Miyako's house… I asked him if he would like to come to my place, and then I would take him there in the morning."  
  
Now Taichi had began to advance away from the other, not really knowing what he was going to say next. He could only pray that the next phrase would be in his favor.  
  
"While he was there- I…" Yamato squeezed his hands together tightly to escape the fleeting culpability. "…I kissed him…"  
  
"What!?" Tai asked, feeling a fountain of rage starting to pulsate from inside of him.   
  
"Let me finish!" Matt screamed in frustration. "There's-there's more…"  
  
His voice was beginning to crack and stutter, though he wasn't able to dominate it, or make it stop.  
  
"We started making out… and- I told him that I…"   
  
Another pause.  
  
"…Loved him…"  
  
This time it was Tai's turn to start shudder in agitation. This meeting wasn't working to his advantage- instead it was blowing up in his face.   
  
*Please say that's all… Don't let there be anything else…*  
  
"He didn't know what he was doing- and… we actually had sex. I sucked him into it…He- didn't understand what was happening… Well, he knew we were doing it… but he actually thought I meant it…"  
  
Tai's whole figure was numb. Frozen over. He couldn't feel anything- or hear anything else that was being said. "You- why??" He asked urgently.  
  
"I didn't mean to~!" Matt defended, "I was-"  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm sure." Tai said back, "You 'didn't mean to'! Now, try to explain to me how you can go and fuck somebody and have it be a complete goddamned accident?!!? 'I'm sorry, I just fucking 'fell' into bed with him!"  
  
"Don't put this all on my shoulders~!" Matt retorted instantly, both of them feeling anger augmenting at an unhealthy pace, "It's not like this was all my fau-"  
  
"Don't tell me you're going to try and get me to believe that this *isn't* all your fault!!" Taichi answered loudly, "You went and got into bed with him! We get in *one* fight and then you go and sleep with somebody else!! I'm sure this is all *my* mistake~!"  
  
"You *hurt* me!!" Yamato shot back, "I spent five hours crying on top of a bridge because of you~! I thought that you wanted things to be over between us~!"  
  
"It looks like that wasn't the 'only' thing you were on top of last night!" Tai said slyly, his eyes blaring in at the other.   
  
"You said it was a fucking fling, Tai~!" Matt said with his voice cracking again from all the yelling. "How do you think I felt?!? Maybe if you hadn't gone and said that- it wouldn't have happened, but it *did*! I came over to tell you that. I could have just gone ahead and lied to you, but I *didn't*, because I thought you deserved to know!"  
  
"Gee, thanks." Tai said with a sarcastic accent, "I feel really honored. My boyfriend went and screwed somebody else, and then he decided to tell be about it! That's just - great. What was the point? Come over to tell me that you'd like to go and start doing kids the same age as your brother?"  
  
"Shut up!" Yamato shouted in fury, "I didn't-"   
  
"No, Matt…" Taichi said sounding off-handed. "You see, the point is that you *did*- and so now-"  
  
"Will you just listen to me?!?" Matt cried back, starting to feel demolished. He reached out an arm and touched the brim of his friend's shirt but the second the fabric and his skin collided, he felt a hand clenched over his.  
  
"Don't *ever* touch me again." Tai said coldly.  
  
Yamato tried to pull away, but once again he was stuck in the other's grasp. "Let go…" he asked in a barren murmur.  
  
"You're a slut." The other said suddenly and catching Matt off guard. "You're a goddamned fucking slut."  
  
"Look, Tai-" he answered, trying to guard himself, "I-"  
  
"Don't talk to me!!" Tai screamed shrilly, "You're a FUCKING slut! I HATE you, Yamato! I! HATE! YOU! You're a dirty whore who'll screw pretty much anybody who walks up to you!! I thought what we had was important to *both* of us- but I guess I was wrong! I thought all of this was my fault- and that as soon as I apologized, things would be back to normal! Boy, was I off…" He wiped his forehead with his hand.  
  
"Stop it…" Matt said, attempting to free himself another time.  
  
"I'm not finished!!!" Tai yelled furiously. "I let you finish what you had to say, and now it's my turn!!!" He pulled Yamato's face right in front of his as he spit out the words, "I wanted you to understand what I felt about you…Didn't I mean anything- to you??"  
  
Matt didn't dare to speak, it was too terrified to say anything. He had never seen Tai so upset in his life and he didn't know what he was going to do next. He didn't know whether to try and run- to stay and listen- to call for help…  
  
"I…"  
  
Tai's eyes had begun to emit tears down his face as he choked out the words, "I thought that you loved me too… I thought you cared…" He abruptly let go of Matt and covered his face from view.  
  
"Tai…" Matt begun, "I *do* love you… I really do…but-"  
  
"Just go away…" The chestnut haired boy choked out, "Go away, Yamato…"  
  
"Please…" the taller of the two begged over and over again, "I'm sorry, Tai…I didn't mean to… I'm sorry~!"  
  
"I hate you!!" Tai tried to yell, but his scream was engulfed by sobs. "I-hate…you…"  
  
*If I actually hated him, then I wouldn't be shedding these tiny droplets of water, would I?*   
  
Matt touched his shoulder, but once again it was shunned aside.  
  
"I told you not to touch me, you dirty bitch~!"   
  
The older one saw that there was no longer any point in staying here- there was no negotiating to be done. As far as he could tell, it looked as if the relationship had died midstream in what should have been one of the most memorial times of his life.   
  
"Goodbye, Tai…" he said softly, while pulling the door open so that he could leave. He waited for a reply, even if it was an obscenity, but there was none. He exited with a heavy heart and his own streams of tears beginning to develop on his cheeks.   
  
  
  
"Goodbye, Yamato."  
  
***  
I was going to put something else in there with Ken and Davish, but I decided to leave it. ^^;;  
Remember, Sparky!  
  
~Reviews are like presents!! Nice to give away, but even better to receive!~  
Please review!  



	6. Lost Admonitions

Another chapter! And I finished it before 2:00 in the morning... [throws hands into the air happily]. Anyhow, I suppose we should get on with the fic... I hope you like it! ^_^  
  
***  
  
"Are you sure it's alright that I come over?" Ken asked nervously while struggling with his bags. He was exhausted from -everything- and found it strenuous to lug his things behind him without collapsing into the ground in depletion.  
  
"I'm sure that my parents won't mind…" Davis said slowly, though he really hadn't paused to think about it. "They're both at work and Jun's at school."   
  
Ken was tempted to ask again where Daisuke was *really* supposed to be right then as he didn't want to get him in any trouble, but at the moment it felt good for him to have someone to depend on. He *would* have just gone home, but seeing as he would have to take the train back to Tamachi- he decided that he would at least meet the others before leaving.  
  
He tried not to think about what had happened earlier, but it was killing him inside. Every part of his body felt like it had been- used. His hands- they'd trickled over his body…and caress… his lips- they'd said so many gullible and foolish things- his eyes- how many times had he stared into the other's pools of cerulean, believing that someone actually cared about him?  
  
*Somebody caring about me? Ha, that's a laugh. Every time I've managed to get close to someone, they're always stolen away. What's the point of trying anymore? All anyone sees in me is my brains- I'm supposed to be intelligent and I can't even tell when someone's lying to me. Ken Ichjouji- boy genius. Yeah, all right. If everyone believes it, what's the point of proving them wrong?*  
  
"Ken??" Daisuke asked, staring at him blankly, "Are you alright? I know you're not always the world's greatest chatterbox, but today you're abnormally quiet."  
  
"I don't want to talk about it...." Ken replied abruptly, still deep in his thoughts.  
  
*I must be stupider then I look to fall for something like that. That's all he wanted- a one night stand. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I never had to see him again- but I do. He's part of our team. He said he 'loved' me. So, why did he leave?? He didn't even say why- just went away- probably trying to get away from 'me' as fast as he could.*  
  
"Come on…" Davis urged while beginning to climb up the stairs to the elevator, "You can tell me. What- you think I'm going to laugh at you or something?"  
  
"No…" Ken answered briefly as he stumbled along, then stepped into the little room and watched as Davis pushed the number '5' on the button panel then stared back at him "I just…I'm not in the mood to think about it, okay?" But that was a lie, as his mind was still roaring at full blast, tormenting away.  
  
*I let him touch me… he kissed me, he played with me…hell, he screwed me! 'I' fucked another guy! It's just- wrong. What was I thinking?? Why couldn't I have understood what was going on?? Heck, even 'now' I don't know what was going on. Does he? Yamato Ishida- did you know what you were doing? Did you 'know' that you were going to slash my heart into pieces? Because you did; I hope you enjoyed it; that way one of us would be able to say that we did.*  
  
"Here."   
  
Ken felt the bags he had been dragging behind him being lifted from his hands and dropped to the fuzzy carpeted ground. "You don't have to go through all this trouble- you know…" he said timidly, staring warily at the other boy's massive purplish hair.  
  
"I *know* that I don't have to…" Daisuke replied for the seventeenth time since he had met Ken that bright morning, "But I *want* to. It's obvious that you're not in the best shape- and I just want to make sure that you're alright." He smiled warmly to show that he actually meant it too.   
  
Though he had been itching to ask all morning about what had happened the night before- he restrained himself. It was obvious that Ken would rather not talk about it- the way that he twisted around in discomfort every time he mentioned it.  
  
"Well- this is my house…", He said slowly, preparing to give the customary tour that came with introducing a friend to your house for the first time.  
  
"I know…" Ken answered blankly, "I've been here before, remember?" His mouth was dry and talking proved to be a challenge by itself.   
  
"Oh, yeah. Right…" Davis would have slapped his forehead in embarrassment, but decided now wasn't the best time. His body was shuffling and bustling around, trying with what he had to make Ken feel even the least bit better. "I'll make some tea…" He called, then hurried into the kitchen where the clatter of cups and saucers could be heard crashing together.   
  
Standing alone in the living room, Ken pushed his assorted luggage into a further corner where they weren't as apt to be noticed; then sat down on one of the couches, his body was uptight and rigid as he listened to Davis practically destroying the Motomiya household.   
  
"What kind of tea would you like!?" The goggle boy asked spiritedly. "Will Oolong be alright?"  
  
"That'd be fine…" Ken said dully.   
  
*I feel like I shouldn't be here right now. But- there's no where else 'to' be. Mom and dad aren't expecting me back for 2 days- if I come back now, they'll know something's up. I can't go back in this shape- they'd probably think I'm sick and try to ship me off to the hospital. I want to talk to him…… tell him what he's done to me….. Ask him if he liked it. I thought that I -had-, but then again, that was probably my fucking body talking- and not my head.*  
  
"There ya go!" Davis said brightly, snapping him from his trance by slamming down two tea-cups in front of him. "I hope it's not too hot… or too cold… It's sort of hard to tell sometimes." Again, Ken looked up to see him beaming, so the navy blue haired one tried to put on a small grin himself. It was difficult.  
  
They both started sipping their beverages, a silence so dense that it struck both of them as unbearable. All that could be heard was the tiny clinking of cups and saucers that rung every once and a while.   
  
Sensing the candor of the conversation, Davis tried to think of something to say. "Miyako and I were talking about having a get together with the rest of the digidestined, if you'd be willing to come. There's really no point if one of us can't go- seeing as Mimi would have to fly in from America. We'd all be there- the new kids and the older ones too. Tai, Sora, Izzy, Jyou, Matt-"  
  
*CRACK~!*  
  
The instant that the words had left his mouth, there was an impetuous tinkling of glass that filled the air. The freshly made tea began seeping into the carpet while the shards of the former cup glinted threateningly.   
  
"Ken~!? Are you alright!? What's the matter?" Davis asked feverishly, looking hard at the other boy's whole physic. Ken didn't even seem aware of what he had done until he felt his shoulders being shaken furiously back and forth.   
  
*…That name…*  
  
"What!?" He replied in confusion- his lost eyes searching the room, "Oh…Sorry… I've messed up your carpet… here, let me try to clean it up a little…"  
  
"No~!" Davis cried with a note of what sounded like anger in his voice. Ken stopped picking up glass and instantly gawked- trying to figure out what he meant.   
  
Daisuke's brown eyes seemed to glow with determination as he finally got up the gut to speak thoughts that had been following him continuously. Usually he was one to blurt out anything that was on his mind- but this had been unlike most situations. He had known Ken for something like a couple months, and he had learned that just screaming at someone wasn't the best way to try to get through to them.  
  
"Look, Ken…" He started, "Something is *bothering* you. Why won't you just tell me what it is!? Maybe I can help you-"  
  
"I don't need your help!" Ken snapped, "It's nothing that you need to get involved in!!"  
  
Daisuke assumed that he had hit a soft spot and tried to back off. "I-I'm sorry…" He apologized delicately, "I didn't mean to get you upse-"  
  
But Ken had already dropped his head into his hands, running his fingers gingerly through the fine strands of bluish hair. Davis couldn't see his face, but from the gentle noise that was coming from him- he could only guess that he was crying.   
  
Minuature speckles of water dropped onto the table- staining the dainty wood with tears. Daisuke tried to reach his arm over to the other's shoulder, so as to give some sort of comfort for whatever was bothering him, but Ken's fist instantly smacked against the coffee stand.   
  
"I-I don't understand…" He sobbed quietly, pushing tress' away from his eyes. "He just left… Like -that-." Still contaminated in what seemed like disappointment and fury, he snapped his fingers on the word 'that'. "Why didn't he explain? Why didn't he at least tell me what I did *wrong*…That's the least he could have done…"  
  
Though Davis didn't comprehend a word that had been said so far, so he tried his best to pretend. His mind was busy trying to think of something sympathetic or moderately nice that he could say, but it wasn't that easy, when you didn't even know what you were comforting him -for-.  
  
"I'm sorry, Davis…" Ken said in a choked voice, "I really- I'm sorry."  
  
"Sorry?" Daisuke asked in surprise. "Sorry about what?"  
  
"I didn't mean to break down like that…" Ken replied, while trying to look like he had been weeping for no reason at all. He wiped his saturated face with his shirt collar then stared with a dazed look at his companion. It didn't fool Davis.  
  
But though he knew that he was supposed to be subject to bad acting, he pretended like he hadn't noticed. It was hard to do, seeing as he had just watched his friend crumble to his knees in a fit, but he did his best.  
  
Both of them felt the familiar muteness coming on, so it was Ken's turn to break the tranquility. "What's that?" He asked in rapture, pointing at the small pink envelop that was displayed from his coat pocket.   
  
"That!?" Davis asked in panic, covering it from view while his cheeks briskly began turning scarlet. "It's nothing~!" He explained in an abnormally high pitched voice, "Just something that I found on the way here…"  
  
"May I see it?" Ken asked naturally, reaching his hand out to accept it still showing a look of deep enchantment.  
  
Daisuke disorderly attempted thinking of something excuse to use, but each one that popped into mind was more unbelievable then the one before. He scratched his head for a moment then started "-Actually, I-"  
  
Ken noticed the way Davis had been behaving and resolved to forget about it. "Davis, if you don't want to show it to me, all you have to do is say it-"  
  
"Who said I didn't want to show it??" Daisuke responded almost at once, letting his contradicting nature take it's toll. As soon as he had said it, he realized that he had almost found a loop hole- yet still managed to miss it.  
  
Having run out of ideas, he casually pretended to stretch out his arms, pulling them back then letting the tiny paper object slip from his fingers, and glide through the air and land next to the heater.   
  
"Oh shit…" He muttered innocently, acting as if this turn of events annoyed him then getting up high enough on the cushion so that he could look at the lost piece of paper. "Sorry…" He said starkly.   
  
"Don't worry, I can get it…" Ken said, extending his forelimb behind the seat and waving it so that he would be able to collect the missing letter.  
  
Davis immediately called, "Nah, it's not a problem. Too bad though…" Inside he was beaming like something absolutely amazing had just occurred, and he had been a part of it.  
  
Quite aware of what had just happened, yet again, Ken simulated like he had imagined it. A small smirk began to creep onto his lips, only to be intruded upon by a boisterous yawn. "If its not too much trouble…" He said slowly, "Would it be possible for me to sleep for a little while?"  
  
"Yeah, alright~!" Davis replied animatedly, "Just let me go get you a couple of blankets…" He emerged to the hallway closet, quickly snatching up more covers than necessary, and floundering back, occasionally knocking over lamps and vases then catching them in mid-air. It took over ten minutes before he was able to arrive back with a minimum of 6 antiques then pile them up on the living room floor.   
  
"Here you g-" He started, but stopped as soon as he saw the curled up body in front of him, on the couch. He wondered if he had ever seen Ken Ichijouji as peaceful and serene as he was now. The boy's eyelids had been lightly shut, and the rest of him was gently pulsating up and down; each breath being taken in causing Davis to sigh in satisfaction.   
  
"I'll never be able to figure you out…" He said with a slight smile then threw a cotton bedspread on top of Ken sensitively, then reaching behind the sofa to collect his lost envelop, then heading out back out for school.  
  
***  
  
Yamato ran out of the apartment building, tears streaming behind him in the merciless wind.  
  
"I shouldn't have told him!!!" He yelled to no one but himself, "I could have lied~! I *should* have lied! He said he-" He paused to wipe away the liquid that was oozing from his eyes, mixed with a runny nose. "-loved me…"  
  
*Good Job, Yamato. You fucking screwed up one of the only good things that have ever happened to you. It's no wonder you weren't able to find a meaningful relationship before this. Tons of fans, screaming your name while you're onstage: doesn't mean anything. They just like you because you can carry a tune and happen to have a pretty face. Baka… I finally met someone who cared about me for more than just that, and now I've ruined it.*  
  
"Goddamnit!!" He screamed, then coughed loudly, "Why!? Why did it happen to me!? Why do these things *always* happen to me!?" Not being able to hold out against his emotions any longer, he fell to his knees with pained crystals fallings from his face and onto the sidewalk. "I'm sorry, Tai…" He said quietly, though fully aware that no one else could hear him, "I'm sorry…"  
  
He ignored the distinct stares that the rest of the public around was giving him, though noticing the fact that a good percent of them were students, obviously on their way to school. Come to think of it, they were wearing the same green and white uniforms that *he* was used to sporting to Juku.  
  
*Fuck!! I'm late for school!!*  
  
The realization hit him hard, and he nearly fell over backwards as he got up and started sprinting as fast as he could to his own household, where he would be able to change and gather his books. Even after all that had happened that night, how could he manage to forget about that too!?  
  
Dashing through the park and slipping across clusters of waterlogged dead leaves and back to his apartment. Sprinting up the group of stairs, he landed at the top panting and gasping.   
  
*Mental note… Take up jogging.*   
  
Once he had stopped his lungs from gasping and wheezing out of control, he started emerging to his own house. As much as he denied it, deep down he knew that his 'out of shape' problem was probably a result of second hand smoke.   
  
Slinking along the hallway to avoid nosy neighbors, he clicked the door open and went in- kicking clutter and garbage off of the floor and away from his feet. He didn't have enough time to get anything to eat, though his stomach was howling with hunger.  
  
He stumbled into his room then pulled a drawer out of its socket and began sifting through it in search of his school uniform. Luckily, he had managed to fit 'doing laundry' into his schedule, so a clean shirt and pants weren't too hard to find. He tugged them on, took a couple minutes to run a brush through his hair, then took off again out the door.  
  
It was hard to tell whether or not he liked rushing around like this- at least now, anyway. Being in such a hurry made it harder for him to worry about other things like Tai and Ken…  
  
He wondered if Tai would be there at school. If he was- chances were the two would end up avoiding each other. What was there to say now? Apologizing hadn't done any good before, how was it going to help now?  
  
Again, he ran at top speed through the park, excluding the bothersome glances that other people were giving him. If the media was anywhere near, they'd probably start writing stuff on the headlines like: "Yamato Ishida- Troubled lead singer: Was skipping school the first sign??"   
  
Pounding along the sidewalk, he finally reached the large beige building and with a burst of speed clamored past the dingy schoolyard and into the brick structure, shifting his arm to transfer his backpack to the other shoulder. He then barged in, suddenly remembering that he was in a public junior high and if he wasn't quiet, the principal would probably pop out of the wall and nail his ass.  
  
He clicked his lock until it arrived at his combination, shoved his bag inside and snatched a couple of books, then headed to his homeroom.   
  
"Sorry, I'm late~!" He exclaimed, slipping along the newly mopped floor and into the classroom. "I got- uh… caught up in something on my way to school…"  
  
His teacher, Mr. Kajiyaro, raised an eyebrow, but said nothing else while marking something down on a sheet of paper that looked like the attendance.   
  
Yamato scuttled into his desk then began sorting through his books, scattering crumpled papers all over the ground.   
  
The dark haired teacher stared around fortuitously for a while then asked loudly, "Has anyone seen Tai Kamiya this morning??"  
  
The blonde instantly cringed from the name, but didn't say anything; just continued collecting the materials he had lost to the ground.  
  
"Anybody? Come on, people, I feel like I'm talking to a wall, here. It's a yes or no question…"  
  
Finally deciding to give an answer, he raised his arm in the air. "Excuse me?"  
  
"Yes, Mister Ishida?"   
  
He shifted his fingers uncomfortably for a moment but continued, "I-I-uh- think he was sick today…"  
  
For the second time that morning, Mr. Kajiyaro flipped up his brow then asked, "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah… I talked to him this morning-"  
  
It wasn't a total lie…  
  
Suddenly the door flung open again to reveal the brunette himself, ironically enough for Matt. Everyone turned around to face him.  
  
"You were saying??"  
  
His cerulean eyes looked around nervously, then sort of smiled to intervene the awkward moment.   
  
"Hey- Sorry, I'm late…" Tai said, obviously not having looked around, "I had to get-" And then he stopped, when letting his eyes rest on Yamato.  
  
The older boy could barely stand to stare- they seemed so sad… or disappointed…he couldn't tell… Either way, it pained him to look, so he didn't. Instead, he stared down at his desk, running his fingers along the dents that had been created by previous occupants.  
  
"Well, aren't we a happy bunch." The teacher said sarcastically, waving his hand in irritation then grabbing a thick book from his desk. "All right: Even though you guys are about as lively as toast, I've got a class to teach, so we might as well get started. Today we'll be discussing the ending of Romeo and Juliet. Please tell me you didn't forget to read it…"  
  
The class nodded all together, though nothing else was said.   
  
"Alright then. Could anyone summarize it up for me?"  
  
Hesitating a bit, Tai slowly lifted his hand into the air.   
  
"Wow, you mean we actually have a volunteer? Who says the day isn't full of surprises? So, Tai, what happened when Romeo and Juliet found out that they shouldn't be seeing each other?"  
  
"They- they arranged to meet other wise so that they'd still be able to see each other without anyone else knowing." He stopped, not knowing whether or not to continue, but he did, after receiving a friendly,   
  
"Go on…"   
  
"After a while, they decided to get married, but Juliet's parents still believed that she was single, and tried to get her together with somebody else. So, she went and faked her death so that she could be free from her family. Unfortunately, the messenger who had been sent to warn Romeo about it didn't arrive in time, and he believed her to be dead. In pure desperation, he committed suicide and then later- she found *his* body, and did the same thing."  
  
"And why do you think she did this?" Mr. Fujiyaro asked intently, pleased that one of his students finally decided to comment on something.  
  
Tai paused for a second, then mumbled something under his breath.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tai, I can't hear you unless you speak up."  
  
"I said- 'She did it because she loved him and wanted to be with him.'-" The rest of the class was alert, hanging onto his every word. Nobody had ever really seen him take much interest in that class for anything except soccer. He shot Matt a dirty look.  
  
*What's he playing at??*  
  
"Um, Pardon me!"   
  
The whole population of the room now turned to face Yamato, uncertain about what he was going to say.   
  
"I-uh-" He began to stutter, but then looked back at Tai who was eyeing him edgily. "I don't think that Romeo should have taken such drastic measures in the end- after finding out what Juliet had done…"  
  
"What the hell are you talking about!?"   
  
Now everyone in the room diverted their attention back to Taichi who had an expression of disbelief on his face. "I think that Romeo had every right to do what he did~! She went and did something stupid- and it ended up fucking up the relationship!!"  
  
The teacher lifted his hand up to comment about the usage of 'colorful four letter words', but wasn't given the chance.  
  
"I don't think she *meant* to hurt him!" Yamato started ferociously, "She was just confused~! She didn't know what to do at the moment~!"  
  
"Oh, I'm sure~!" Tai responded instantly, "How can you even say that!? The point is that in the end she did end up hurting Romeo- even if she didn't *mean* to. Maybe if she had taken two seconds to think it through-"  
  
"She wasn't *given* two seconds to think it through~!" Matt screamed back, "She was getting forced into something she didn't want to do~!"  
  
"What-?" Taichi said, his mouth gawking, "Are you saying their relationship was a waste of time~!? She shouldn't have been there!? Because if so- maybe-"  
  
Yamato felt his well-known spirit of 'Compete-with-Taichi' coming into play, though he made no effort to stop it. "I didn't say that~! Those words never left my mouth, did they~? No~! What I was saying was, maybe if things hadn't taken a sudden turn of events for the worse- then-"  
  
"So, you're going to blame it all on fate!?" Tai said angrily, "I don't think so! That's not the way it works, I'm sorry~! The truth is, she-"  
  
"Okay, Tai, he may have said something he shouldn't have, and hurt her-" Yamato choked out, "So why is she being blamed for the fact that she had to find some sort of remorse?? She was hurt~! She didn't have any idea what to do~! What would you have done, huh??"  
  
"Well, I sure wouldn't have screwed someone else, the little whore~!!!!" Tai yelled bitterly, causing everyone else to cast him peculiar glimpses.  
  
"I hate to interrupt this little debate…" Mr. Fujiyaro said with an unusual expression on his face, "But- We're talking about Romeo and Juliet. What the hell are you two screaming about!?"   
  
Both of their cheeks flushed red as their voices were abruptly silenced, and they muttered quiet apologies.   
  
"I have to go to the bathroom…" Yamato piped up, then lifted himself from his chair and exited the classroom.   
  
After a couple minutes had passed and the teacher had gone on endlessly about Shakespeare's style, the musician still hadn't returned. Tai got up from his chair and said, "I have to go to the bathroom, too…"  
  
His peers began snickering silently, but when the instructor had his back turned, he flashed them the finger and left.  
  
***  
  
The second Tai's fingers wrenched open the door to the bathroom, he stepped in to see the recondite lights shining and heard the sound of someone choking on tears. It had been easy to identify he had witnessed a lot of it lately.  
  
"Hey, Juliet…" He said with a feathery smirk, "What're you doing here in the boy's washroom?"  
  
"Go away, Tai…" A raspy voice called, "What're you even doing here??"  
  
"It'd been almost ten minutes since you had left the class- I'm just the search party."  
  
The room was hushed as Tai waited for a reply, standing next to the only locked stall.  
  
  
"I'm not a slut."  
  
  
An acclaimed frenzy of jealousy exploded from inside of him as he shouted, "That's what you say- but can you prove it!? You slept with someone else! We had a GOD-DAMNED fight, and you decided to wreck the relationship, not me."  
  
"I was angry."  
  
"So?" Tai snorted, "What's that got to do with anything???"  
  
"It's got *everything* to do with it~! I thought you didn't care about me anymore. All I wanted was to have someone who I could rely on- and love. But you told me that it didn't mean anything to you. I was numb."  
  
Hearing the words in this tone of voice instead of being shouted made them seem a lot more believable. Turning himself around again, Tai asked, "But why did you sleep with him? And Ken of all people?? I didn't even think you talked to him that much…"  
  
"I didn't before. But yesterday we did. He's a lot like me."  
  
"You didn't answer my question."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why did you do it??"  
  
Yamato stopped again with his hands next to his burning eyes, trying to brush the tears away.   
  
"I don't know. As I said before. I was confused."  
  
"Drunk sounds more accurate." Tai ridiculed, "What'd he do, drug you until you to get into bed with him?"  
  
Feeling a the famous tweak of guilt, Matt replied, "I already told you. He didn't know what he was doing. I manipulated him. I forced myself upon him. I feel like-I- I raped him…"  
  
Now Tai was in no mood to joke. Even if Ken *had* be the guy that his boyfriend had cheated with, it would be lying to say he felt absolutely no sympathy for him.   
  
"What happened after you- left?"  
  
"I told you that one before, too…" Yamato answered drearily, "I'm not sure. I just- left him there. When I came back home later, he was gone. Ran away, I guess. I don't know where he is now."  
  
Taichi bit his lip. "Do you think we should try to find him? After all- he said that he doesn't know his way through Odaiba…"  
  
"Since when do you care so much? Yesterday you seemed about ready to tear his skin off, and now you want to go help him???"  
  
Tai squirmed as if every inch of him was being investigated, but he answered, "I don't know. I just- he seems to defenseless, you know? Where do you think he is right now??"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"That's all you have to say? I don't know?"  
  
"What else do you want me to say?"  
  
"I don't know…"  
  
"There you go."  
  
They sighed, each one feeling tired and stressed out to their breaking points.   
  
"Matt, just come out of the stall…" Tai said while knocking gently on the door with his index finger. "If we don't come back to class soon, they're going to think we ran off together."  
  
"I don't want to…"  
  
"Oh, why not?" The hazel eyed boy asked, beginning to get aggravated, "Come on, Yamato, please?"  
  
"I look horrible."  
  
Tai got into the stall next to him then stepped onto the seat of the toilet and stared over at the blonde teenager in front of him. If truth be told, he did look like a wreck. Blonde hair sprawled all over the place, his azure eyes looking as if they'd been hit with red dye, his skin stained from all the drops that had soaked his cheeks.   
  
"You look fine…" He said with a smile, reaching an arm over and stroking Yamato's tresses.  
  
"Oh, God… stop it…" Yamato groaned as he tried to shield his head from view, though he did unlock the door and step out into the rest of the washroom. Tai followed as he walked along behind and observed while he splashed water onto his face and tried to cover up the blotches as best as he could.  
  
"Hurry up…" Matt said, taking a further step towards the way out of the lavatory, "They probably think we've died…" He began to hurry back to the class until he heard someone call from behind him.  
  
"Hey, Yamato."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Are we alright?"  
  
He beamed the biggest grin he was able to muster, then added, "Yeah, Tai. I think we're going to be fine."  
  
***  
  
I liked writing this chapter. I'm not sure if I liked how some parts came out (for once I sort of let this come out however my fingers intended it to...) but I enjoy writing the ickle bitch fights. I know, I know, I'm a wrong and evil person. Muah. :D  
  
And remember kiddies!  
~Reviews are like presents! Nice to give, but even better to receive!!~  
  
Please Review!  
  
*Oh, and a huge thank you to all the people who have reviewed so far... I- yeah, after getting bitched at by 'certain individuals' about the stuff I write, it's nice to get some positive stuff once in a while :)  



	7. Lost Admonitions

Okay, before we begin, I apologize a thousand times over for not updating this fic for so long!! I've been working on the other one a lot lately... And plus, I'm going on vacation for a couple weeks, so if I don't add anything for a while, blame it on the lack of computer. But, going on::  
  
***  
  
Davis' hair blew into his eyes as he ran at top speed, trying to keep himself from being forced onto the road by the wind. He wrapped his fingers around his bag so that it was more secure to his body, barely noticing the leaves that were crashing into his face.  
  
*I've gotta hurry up~! If they call dad at work, he's going to think I'm playing hooky again… Damn prying teachers…*   
  
By the time he reached the massive building, his lungs were ready to explode. Beads of sweat crawled down his forehead and irritated his skin. He brushed them away at once- reminding himself that he was an ace soccer player and that an athlete like himself should never get tired.  
  
The bell for lunch had already gone off and there was a mob of students corroding the halls and cafeteria. After heading to the office to report that he had arrived at school, he looked around in frenzy for the individual who had been vexing his brain for the last weeks.   
  
Suddenly a face that he had become very accustomed popped out from one of the doors. She obviously hadn't been watching where she was going, as Davis opened his mouth to say something but was instantly interrupted as she came headfirst into him.   
  
"I'm sorry…" The girl said while on her knees, collecting all of the books she had dropped, "I just- I wasn't watching where I was going…"  
  
It took Davis a time span of about 0.012 seconds to figure out who it was. The hazel pools that shone pleasantly from her face, just like her brother's, were a dead give away, as well as the slender structure that only she could possess. Her digital camera swung violently from side to side- like a pendant being used to hypnotize someone, and her pink shirt seemed to stand out in the crowd of people.  
  
"Here- let me help you…" Daisuke said with his customary bright grin, also getting to the floor and beginning to help her.  
  
"Oh- thank you…" She said with a weak smile, "I must've been out of it or something…"   
  
Davis thought that he might be imagining it, but it seemed as if she was quieter than normal. He couldn't figure out why… Kari had never been one who talked a lot, but she wasn't usually that silent either.   
  
"Are you alright?" he asked in a sensitive tone, "You-"  
  
"No, I'm fine…" She said in the same dead voice, "Just tired, I guess. I haven't been able to sleep lately."  
  
"Oh…" Davis replied restlessly, "How are you now??"  
  
"Yesterday wasn't as bad." She began, "I actually managed to fall asleep…" Her face seemed dejected- either that or lost. "Well, I've got to go…" she echoed drearily, "I told the others I'd meet them for lunch…"   
  
She began walking away- still lacking the bounce in her step that she so often maintained. Not being able to control himself, the brunette threw out his arm in her direction, grabbing her. "Wait a sec!" He exclaimed, "I-I have something for you…!" Abruptly, he thrust the letter into her chest and watched as she carefully tore off the seal and pulled out the piece of paper inside; then commenced reading.  
  
"..…"  
  
He watched as her eyes descended down the document, every time they jumped a line, her face becoming more and more twisted up in what could have been confusion or disbelief.   
  
Once she had finished, she stood there in a dazed state with her cheeks flaming scarlet; dropping the letter and envelope to the floor. " Oh Davis, I'm sorry… I really am… I just- well, I'm sort of involved with somebody else right now…"  
  
She fidgeted uncomfortably with her fingers and refused to stare back at him while he cast her desolate looks. He braced himself to ask who her prince charming was, but he wasn't given the chance.   
  
"Hey, Hikari!"  
  
With her skin still glowing in embarrassment, she replied speechlessly, "Hi, T.K…"  
  
He stepped over forcefully, acting as if they were suddenly alone. His fingers walked down from her shoulders; lingering at her middle. He swirled his index finger around the area where he naval was, then let his hungry hands  
rest on her hips. Slowly, he began swaying her back and forth in a mesmerizing fashion. Daisuke felt sick to his stomach just watching it.  
  
Not being intimidated by the students passing by- he arched his head near her neck and began kissing it with his tongue curling around her intensely, like a snake trying to explore her bare skin.  
  
"Stop it, Takeru…" She said, still flustered from the display that were happening, "Not here… people are going to stare…"  
  
"What??" T.K. asked with his eyes still closed, momentarily pausing to rip himself away from her soft flesh, "It's only Davis…"  
  
-  
*'Only Davis'? That's all I am? Some fucking gawker who came to watch them maul each other?? I'm sorry, I've got better things to do with my time…*  
-  
  
"Just -stop it…please…" She persisted, putting her palms flat against his chest in attempt to push him away. He looked concerned and faintly jaded, though he eventually decided to cease.   
  
Not dismissing a chance to humiliate Daisuke in front of Kari, he said with a barbaric smirk, "Looks like she's mine now, Davis… Too bad, eh?" He made a swift move to flick her hair playfully, then began strutting off along the hallway.  
  
*You just went -too- far, pretty boy…*  
  
Not being able to silence his rage for any longer, he obeyed the voice in his head ordering him to do something about it.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"You beat him until he was unconscious?!? Davis- Why?? It was Takeru, I thought the two of you were friends~!"  
  
The principal looked frantic running his aged hands through his graying hair as he tried figuring out what had happened in the hallway.   
  
"Key word- 'were'."  
  
"Daisuke," He said, trying to sound as stern as possible, "I'm afraid that I can't take this lightly. You haven't exactly been a grade A student this year…" Sitting down in a large chair that stood in front of Davis, he cracked his knuckles then continued; "We've called your parents- you've been suspended for the fourth time this year."  
  
"The fourth time!??" Davis cried with an irked voice, (OOC: I love that word…) BIC: "Can't you do something else?? I'll wash windows- I'll clap erasers, just don't suspend me- my parents are going to kill me…"  
  
"Your brother said that he was already on his way down to come and get you."   
  
"My- brother??"  
  
"Yes, you're -brother-!" The principal retorted as if annoyed that he was being forced to repeat himself, "I just called him and he said that he was sorry for what happened, and that he was coming."  
  
*Ken??*  
  
Davis' looked around in discomfort, then exclaimed as if the answer had been right in front of him- "Oh, you mean- Ken… He's not really my brother- he's an… exchange student…"  
  
The teacher's eyebrow lifted; showering the room with suspicion. "An exchange student?? I wasn't aware of this…"  
  
Seeing that he had taken the bait, Daisuke continued. "Yeah~!" the boy said enthusiastically, "My parents agreed to let him stay at our house for a while, it's a program we're taking part of… volunteered for it you know." He tried to smile for encouragement, then continued, "He learnt the language in school. He's from- uh… Canada…"  
  
"Canada???"   
  
"Yes… Canada..."  
  
The answer still didn't seem that trustworthy, but neither of the two pushed the subject any further. They sat in the office for what seemed like agonizing hours that had decided to crawl by.  
  
Davis was soon lost in his thoughts.  
  
*How could she just toss me aside like that?? Never-mind, it's obvious isn't I'm just Davis- the loud idiot who everyone knows wouldn't be able to tie a shoelace if his life depended on it. Yeah- right. The funny thing is- if I haven't got a heart, then how could they explain it's being severed like that? Fuck them- maybe I should just pretend that I don't care. They wouldn't notice. They've all tried to shove that idea into their heads, so why should I bother interfere with their ideas?*  
  
"Mr. Motomiya?? Come on, get up, it's time for you to go."  
  
His eyes flipped open to reveal a boy's pupils shining brightly at him. He almost flew backwards in surprise, dropping off of his chair. But someone swiftly grabbed his arm to stop him from colliding with the ground.  
  
"Daisuke?" Ken said in what was supposed to be an angry tone, "I heard what you did, and I can't tell you how upset all of us are! Why in heaven's name did you go and do something like that? I called your parents, and I'll warn you now, you're going to be grounded for so long that you'll be in college by the time that you're allowed out of your room again…"   
  
With that, he grabbed Davis' shirt sleeve and began tugging him out of the office behind him. He made sure to keep the choleric grimace on his face until they were out of the structure, in which in began sniggering excessively.  
  
"That guy must've been stupider than he looked if he fell for something like that…" Ken said with a large grin, "Heck, I had a hard time acting that out without starting to laugh in the middle of it…" He squinted while laughing in his sugary voice.   
  
It was only after he paused for a moment to catch his breath that he noticed that Davis wasn't sharing his feeling of well-being. Instead, his eyes were focussing on the shredded grass beneath his feet and his fingers treading through the emerald colored plants.   
  
"What's the matter?" Ken asked, looking at him in bewilderment though still grinning, "You seem depressed about something…"  
  
"I'm fine…" Daisuke muttered slowly, though he was still gazing at the healthful looking plants.   
  
"You sure don't look fine-" Ken continued with a smile still covering his lips, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were going to cry… But of course, I don't need to worry about that- after all, Daisuke Motomiya doesn't cry, does he." It was more of a statement than a question. He edged one of his hands over as a sign of comfort, but it was quickly batted away.  
  
"Who -says- that Daisuke Motomiya doesn't cry!?" Davis shot, "Is it some unwritten rule or something!? I'll cry if I damn well want to, alright!??"   
  
Ken coward back from the sudden outburst and murmured, "I-I'm sorry… I was only trying to cheer you up…"  
  
  
"Yeah well- maybe you should stop."  
  
"O-okay… I- really, I didn't mean to- insult you or anything-", But after seeing the emotion that had began to erode away at Davis' face, he stopped in mid sentence.   
  
It wasn't an expression of fury or agitation, but perhaps better described as one of intoxicating hurt. Anyone watching him at that exact moment would have been able to tell that he was trying to hold down his feelings as he bit his lip, but was fighting a losing battle.   
  
His freckled eyes at last darted behind his hands to hide them from spectators. Gradually, the rest of his stature followed and pretty soon his legs were folded in after his arms and his head collapsed onto his knees. The occasional croak or gasp could be heard to escape from his lips, though no actual words could be heard for a while.  
  
Ken took a spot next to him, trying to identify the problem, but after a bit of time, he began to receive an explanation.   
  
  
"…She's a bitch…" he wheezed bitterly, "…She's a goddamn bitch. I hate her."  
  
"Who??" the other asked while resisting the impulse to try and say something 'nice'. That had sure blown up in his face last time, and he wasn't anxious to make the crying figure in front of him even worse.   
  
There was no reply for a couple more minutes until, "Why don't you ask -T.K.-, I'm sure he'd know."  
  
Another brief pause passed until Ken plucked up the courage to ask, "It's Hikari- Isn't it."  
  
The name itself seemed to set Davis off again as he pried his head up and responded, "She hates me-she always has. It doesn't take a brainiac to figure that out." His tanned skin had been marked from the flow of tears that had continued by. "Oh, but wait! We've got the famous Ken Ichijouji- boy wonder, here to justify that for me~!"  
  
Ken didn't know what to say, and instead just squirmed a bit. He was unaware what to say- after all, what had he done to deserve the sudden mocking??  
  
*Maybe I was wrong to think I should stick around. Jesus- even Davis wants me gone.*  
  
"Maybe if she'd actually taken a minute to realize that I'm human too… No- I'm just Davis- I don't experience pain. I don't experience fear. I don't experience -anything-!" He buried his face again. "At least- according to them anyway."   
  
"Davis-" Ken started, "I know that you're forced to feel that stuff too… We all are… It can't be helped…"  
  
"They all think I'm made out of stone or something!!" Daisuke interrupted critically,   
"Are they all too fucking stupid to see that!?!"   
  
  
  
"Stop it~!!!" Ken screamed suddenly, "Daisuke- just- stop it!!"   
  
Taken off guard, that was all that he could do. His mouth instantly clamped shut as he gawked in wonder.  
  
"Would you please take a minute to listen to yourself!?!" Ken asked desperately. "I wasn't there to see what happens, but you'll have to say an awful lot to get me to believe that she tried to blow you off while making it as cruel as possible."  
  
*Why the hell is he standing up for -her-? Then again, she's the child of light, everybody's supposed to love Kari. It's like a curse or something. But of course- I still haven't managed to free myself from it, despite how much I would love to be rid of her continuous hold over my heart. Every time I see her manages to pull more strings inside of me, as if she's trying to dangle something that I madly desire in front of my eyes. She's got me twisted up and torn at every corner, and yet still refuses to acknowledge not only that I'm alive- but that I'm also crazy about her.*  
  
"Well??" Ken questioned again, "I don't know Kari very well, but just by looking at her you can tell that she isn't one who enjoys hurting other people~!"  
  
"Are you trying to say that she was trying to make it easy on me!?" Davis scoffed ferociously, "Because if so- she sure did a miserable job of it!"  
  
"You can't expect someone to love you just because you have feelings for -them- Davis!!" Ken echoed with his whole body looming over his friend, "It's not fair! She can't help that you care about her that way unless-"  
  
"Unless -what-." Daisuke said with his eyes being reduced to dire slits.   
  
Ken stopped for a minute as if his intimidation had caught up with him again, but he threw it off immediately and shrieked, "Unless she'd be willing to return those feelings! Which do you think would be better- eh, Davis? Having her pretend that she loved you in the first place? Or being able to know that she's happy with someone else??"  
  
"That's just it!!" Davis screeched back, "She's with someone else! She- she'll never know how I feel! I bet you she enjoys seeing me get shredded like this!!"  
  
-Crack~!-  
  
Daisuke stepped backwards then melted to the ground with one of his temples throbbing insanely and a tiny rivet of blood trickling down his cheek. Ken stared at him in horror and regret with his fist still clenched into the tight ball and his index finger's knuckles sticking out further than any of the others.   
  
"What'd you do that for!?" Davis snarled while wiping away the mixture of vital fluid and salted water.  
  
"Trying to knock some sense into you." Ken replied savagely with his eyes blazing dangerously like they had done so often as the Digimon Kaizer.   
  
Davis said nothing, simply glaring as if someone had challenged him. "I don't need to be nagged, you know…" He spurted venomously, "I've been taught what's right or wrong. Black or white. Good or evil." He took some time spitting out the last words as if they had been thread along with some sort of agonizing values.  
  
Ken's voice softened as he whispered, "It's not always a matter of right or wrong, Davis… She can't help it if she doesn't…love you…" A substantial amount of pain took its toll on his heart as he said this, remembering the events that had occurred during the night before.  
  
"It doesn't mean that I have to like it." The goggle boy said with his tone changing too.  
  
"I didn't say it did." Ken replied, letting a gentle smile begin to form on his lips. "Come on…" he continued delicately, tugging carefully on Davis' shirt, "You've got nowhere else to go right now, other than home. Why don't we go- I dunno… for a walk or something?"  
  
"You sure you're not too tired?" Davis interjected with a smirk, "After I left for school, you were sleeping like a log…"  
  
"And you told -me- that you didn't have anywhere to go." Ken added with his mouth curling slyly and allowing his feet to begin travelling in the direction of the park.  
  
Daisuke's skin instantly tinted crimson but he briskly shot back cheerfully, "And who knows? Maybe while we're there you'll be able to tell me what's been bothering -you-. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth…"   
  
The front of contentment was suddenly lost as blue eyes shaded themselves from view. A nausiating feeling of sorrow enlodged itself in his throat and his whole torso felt as if some cold breeze had passed by as he shuddered violently. "…Yeah…" he said silently, "…Maybe…"   
  
***  
  
And that was a patsy... I was going to add some stuff with Matt and Tai in here and there, but that'll be in the next chapter ;)  
  
And please, let's all remember kiddies!  
  
~Reviews are like presents! Nice to give away, but even better to receive! Please review!~ 


End file.
